Month: November 2017

Confessions of a screwed up middle aged man: the wall flower

When I went to high school, I was a wall flower. Now mind you, as a teen, I didn’t mind this too much. Like any normal teen it did affect me, but overall I would say it was a balance of caring and yet not caring.
Now why bring this up now, forty years later?
Within the last few week I attended a Men’s Retreat at the church I started to attend. This was the first time I have ever done this. It was an eye opening experience.
It showed me the humanity of all. This is something that should not make those that go to churches proud. This is not something for those men that do go to Men’s Retreats to feel pride and joy in what they “accomplished,” either.
I was once again the wall flower. The person off to the side looking in. This time though, being a Christian. A follower of Jesus Christ. In a group that professed to being the same. Being the wall flower is somewhere I should not have found myself.
In the way those that are the Pastors, not only of this church I know attend, but any church, teach. Once you are of the family of Christ. You are welcomed and loved as a brother or sister. A fellow child of God.
This was not how I felt. I saw once again the clicks, and social groups of High School. I literally saw myself shoved of to the side. Someone to be ignored and not associated with. This is not the teaching of the Bible. This is not the message of salvation within the Bible.
We cannot, nor ever should, place our beliefs in how those of humanity perceive us. Be they within the fellowship of Jesus Christ or not.
Why is this?
Because they are only human. They have their own interpretation of the Bible, most of which, is flawed and broken. Even my own view is not perfect, nor will it ever be.
What I find ironic is the first group session of the retreat was to reach out and to seek to befriend all. Yet those at this gather really did not listen for the most part. There were those that did embrace this teaching and were out going and friendly. Even unto me. Yet for the most part. If you were not of the click you were not welcome within the conversation.
It is sad. Very, very sad.
For they do not see that their own action turn those away that seek a relationship with Jesus Christ. Yet due to not understanding that God’s love of all is equal and undying. People seeking God see those within a church behaving like the jocks and the preps in High School. Turning their backs upon them instead of welcoming them with arms open. In just the way Jesus Christ Himself is desiring to do. Embracing all that come seeking Him and His Father.
This is one reason churches are dying. For they are filled not with the love of Jesus Christ and His Father. However, they are filled with the exclusion, and the segregation of human scruples which has ever been present. For the separation of social classes due to how humanity sees worldly wealth, to the color of one’s skin.
This is not how God see us. God sees all as equal. Those that accept Him to those that deny Him. God loves ALL OF HUMNAITY.
He desires all to come to Him. To stand before Him. Yet He already knows that most will never do so. To God this is something He has wept about, and will weep over once again. For all of humanity must choose their own fate.
Will they come to God through Jesus Christ and accept the teaching of the Bible? Desiring to abandon all sin. Or will they choose to reject Him, because their lusts for the pleasures of this temporal world are more important to them then their own eternal salvation.
These are lessons even those that go to churches have not fully learned and accepted in many cases. As a result their actions which causes those that seek to be their fellows in Jesus Christ are shunned and reject. Many times, without them even being aware that they are not acting in a Christian manner.
As a result there are those like me. That once again feel the emotions and feeling of exclusion that they many have encountered in high school as they became a flower upon the wall.

Confessions of a screwed up middle aged man: the dark ages

For those that are unfamiliar with history. The dark ages is the time that occurred upon the fall of the Roman Empire and truly did not end until the Renaissance. With the Renaissance it must also be noted that the Reformation took place as well. In all actuality they are truly tied together, but most will deny this. The dark ages was a period in which much blood was spilt and boarders defined as human sought to have governance over other humans. Simply man seeking to rule and control his own life instead of submitting himself to God.
All humans go through their own dark ages. Some never emerge from the darkness. Other go through periods of light and then once again return to darkness. Some never emerging into the light while others do.
I have been going through my own dark ages of late. Thus the absence of my blogs as of late.
Once again as light starts to shine upon me. I again start to see the glory and wonders of God through His Son the Lord Jesus Christ. Have I fully emerged into the light? No, nor do I think any of us truly ever do. Due to our corrupt bodies we are forced to occupy in this temporal existence.
Once again I am certain that humans can and do lose their Salvation. Am I saying this has happened to me? No. For I know due to my desire to please God that I am still covered in the blessed salvation of the blood of Christ.
It is this longing to love and serve God that is a sign of true salvation.
Yet, I know there are those that will challenge this very statement. For I have heard them with my own ears. It is made clear within the Bible that we are to place God at the center of our universe, which is our life.
This is the realization that came to being within the Renaissance. For before this most believed the earth to be the center of this solar system and the universe beyond. They learned though that the sun is the center of this solar system. As time has gone on humanity has learned that not only was earth not at the center of it all. They also have learned that we are not even in the center of the galaxy, yet off on the edge. They have since learned that this galaxy is not even at the center of the universe, bur off toward the end of an off shot off to the side.
When someone truly accepts Christ and desires to follow the teachings of the Bible they come to realize that their life. Their desires. Their wants. Are of no importance.
Millions go about saying they are a child of God. Yet at the core of their universe is themselves. This is not salvation, nor is it anywhere near being called that. In fact it is called hedonism. Again, many will challenge this.
However, if they really seek to examine their lives they will see that it is not God that they think of but themselves. Their lusts. Their desires. Their wants. We all suffer from this affliction, and when it occurs we enter into our own private dark ages.
What is important is to come to acknowledge this. But how can it be recognized when many are taught that once they accept Christ all is will. That they are saved, and can never lose their salvation.
Yet this is not what the Bible itself teaches. (John 15, 2 Peter 2, Revelation 3) You can be broken from the vine, which is Jesus Christ. You can be led away from Christ. Your name can be blotted out from the Book of Life, which is why you are blind and naked before God.
Yet many refuse to accept this truth.
The other day I mentioned this very point; about being broken off form the vine of Jesus Christ. The person changed the subject because they did not wish to face the reality of the evidence from the words of Jesus Christ Himself.
We are to follow ALL the teachings of the Bible. We are not live in adultery. We are not to steal. We are not to tattoo our bodies. Yet many that call themselves “Christian.” Do all these things and think they are one with God. For when they commit these sins they are thinking of only one thing. Themselves.
We all do this. We all enter into darkness, which we must address, confront and then end with the help of God through Jesus Christ.