It is said in the Bible, that all those that will acknowledge that God is real and His Son Jesus is the Messiah are already know by God and counted amongst the blessed. Yet right this moment you may be denying Him. Yet right this moment you live in sin as it is described within the Bible.
You have heard of God yet you think He will not want you to be His servant. You live daily ashamed and guilt ridden, because you do not like how you live your life.
Well here is something you need to know. God loves all that call upon Him for help, if you do not know what you need to do to change. Simply seek out a friend who you know that believes in God and ask them to aid you toward God.
If you have no friends like that. Seek out a church you feel comfortable with approaching. No matter the type or creed. Seek out the spiritual leader within and ask them to help you. Tell them you seek to learn more about God and His Son Jesus.
You can even ask me and I will help you as best I can.
Because for all you know you may be one of the counted.