Yesterday I went on one of the rides I like to take with my wife on her days off before I return to work. On this ride I remised about the rollercoaster ride of my faith as well as other events that were caused by or help influence the direction my faith has gone.
This was inspired by the dream I posted in yesterday’s blog post. You see when I was first born again in 1985 I was a siphon soaking in the word of God and all that the Bible taught. In turn God gave my first blessing as a dreamer of dreams (Acts 2:17) and I knew that when I was old I would be witness to the return of Jesus Christ to the surface of this planet before a natural passing of my life.
I was baptized in 1986 in the First Assembly of God church which was on Highland Ave in Memphis, TN. It has since moved. From this time till 1993 I started to encounter my trials and tribulations I did not understand, for most came from within the “church” and those that I thought would support me and help me in my growth toward becoming a better and pure reflection of Jesus Christ my Savior.
This led me into a slow downward spiral in my faith and understanding. A flat spin that had my mind pressed hard against the side of the cockpit of my airplane of salvation. I lost and could not regain control as my life and faith system shattered and broke apart into thousands of pieces.
Two wives and the closure of my family business led me upon a new search of not only job security but a solid rock of faith to stand upon. Towards the end of my second marriage I hit the bottom. Was on depression pills and lost in the internet doing various things that all equaled to escapism.
As I began to struggle to be a single parent in my fifties with a preteen son I also came to realize that my thoughts were not God centered by world centered. I worried about this temporal world than about my service for God.
It was actually just before the straw that broke the camel’s back of my second marriage that my faith started to rise up. I remembered my study techniques I had taught myself and was never told by a mentor or guide as I should have been. For the Bible tells us that we are to help those within the Body of Christ to gain a strong foundation and that can only be gained by reading and fulling understanding the Bible. It was through the use of Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance that I once again started the upward climb away from damnation, for I have always know that all due to free-will can reject Jesus Christ even after they have asked Him into their hearts. This was once again reaffirmed to me as I become stronger in the word when I added the Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (unabridged) to my study tools. These ten volumes of in-depth study of the original Greek made it clear beyond a doubt where I need to focus my life. That was with God at the core, not the world, not me, but GOD my Creator.
During this time I knew my sin nature and I also knew from my previous experiences that I could not make the choice logically or correctly, so I left it in God’s hands. This led to my current wife. For God has made it clear he would rather we remain unmarried once we divorce unless it would lead to sin. Well it would so God led the best thing that has ever happened to me to come into my life.
She is and has been a true example of a Christian wife. She has supported me in my growth unlike the previous two had done. As a result I have grown to reflect my Savior as I have never been able to accomplish before. It is all due to God and His Son my Savior that I was saved from the brink of losing my salvation. As is shown can happen in John 15, but most refuse to see this. They choose to live in the blindness Satan has placed before them. For they would rather live of the world than of God. More live in the world than I could have ever imagined. They live a lukewarm existence which is even worse than hating God outright (Revelation 3:14-22).
These people label me as a judge, when in reality I am following 2 Timothy 4:1-5. They are like the image I see on facebook time to time of the Bible verse “Thou shall not judge…. “with the rest of the Bible verses below that is scribbled over removing the teaching that says you cannot judge if you are guilty of committing the exact same sin. In reality it is they that are guilty of judging not I.
This roller-coaster ride I have been upon and taught me that most that call themselves “Christian” are not or in danger of being broken from the vine of Christ by His Father and given to men and then to be cast into hell.
I do not make this blog post to be a voice never heard, but to be a voice in the wilderness as John the Baptist was just before Jesus Ministry nearly two thousand years ago. Most laughed and rejected His words as will. Am I saying I am a “John the Baptist?” Hardly for none shall ever equal John as a prophet, that is made clear in the Bible, but I am a voice upon the winds of the wilderness. A voice that most never hear or they as they scoff and say to themselves “it is just the wind whistling.”
Do I still struggle in my growth being a better reflection of Jesus Christ? Most definitely. The one think that I have learned the most is the more I learn of the Bible the more I see the influence of the world upon me in my lifestyle. When compared to most though it is better than most, but can it improve? ALWAYS, and any that says otherwise of themselves is not only lying to you but themselves.
There is so much I wish I could remove from my life but the way the world is now setup it is nearly impossible, but I deal with as little of those things that make people concerned of not only themselves, but of their standing within this temporal world. I care nothing for what others think of me. I know there are those that laugh at me. I have been told I am not a true Christian in my standing upon certain aspects of the Bible (btw, that is someone judging). I don’t care. I care only to please God, His Son, and my wife.
I seek to finish raising the last of my children into adulthood and pray the rest that are adults will seek me out and ask my advice upon how to become a better reflection of Jesus themselves, but I will not hold my breath for they are above the age of consent and must answer to their own action and just hope that in some way what I taught them and how I now live will cause them to think and make the right choices when it comes time to do so.
This is what this ride has been like for me and I look forward to standing before God upon that holy day that the seven seals starts to be broken. For it is made clear in Revelation 3:10 that those that overcome and stay loyal to Christ will be in a pre-tribulation rapture.
Before 2034 we shall see