Confessions of a screwed up middle aged man: as another year comes to an end


This year has been rougher than some, but nowhere near my year of Job. This is the nature of living within this temporal reality we are to live in.
On one hand it has been wonderful. As I share time with the woman that God has brought into my life. For the first, I am in a happy relationship that helps both within it to grow and be content with each other’s companionship.
On the spiritual front it has been a rough year. I feel as if the rudder of my ship has become damaged and at times I drift.
I know I am to seek out further sanctification, however I see a need to surrender more of myself to accomplish this. Is this not the ever ongoing struggle that we all must deal with? We are told outright. We must place God at the center of our lives. Yet time and again it is not God we place here, but ourselves. As I write these word I know without a doubt that is my problem.
To many, they already see me as separate from them. Yet I know I must in a way separate further. However at the same exact time I must draw others closer so that they can truly see Jesus within my life. Then ultimately they can be able to see God through the teachings of Jesus Christ and His apostles, within the books of the New Testament.
One of my greatest challenges is trying to get people to understand that we are required to live our lives Biblically. This is a key element of sanctification.
Helping people to understand that we are required to follow the laws of the land that do not conflict with the Bible. Causing people to understand that they cannot rely upon humanity, thus the government, to care for them. That it is their responsibility to fix their own lives. Humans can’t fix humans, since all of humanity is broken. Only God can fix them.
There is only one way to see God. There is only one way to understand God. That is through Jesus Christ and His teaches which are the New Testament.
They need to understand that if it says to live a certain way they will not get into heaven. Then they need to accept this as the truth and turn from this live style.
These are the dilemmas that I am confronted with. It is a burden that is required by those that are told to be the light unto the darkness. We can only be a light if we do not reflect the world, but Jesus Christ. Yet too many reflect the world and think they are reflecting Jesus. Can any totally stop reflecting the world? No, however we must strive to ever be a brighter light. A better reflection of Jesus Christ.
These are things that I deal with constantly. These are things all that call themselves “Christian,” should deal with. Not just the Pastor, Ministers and or Priest, but ALL that call themselves a “child of God.”
For all get discouraged, especially when humans count on other humans to bear their burdens. None can bear their own. So how can they bear others as well?
Only God through Jesus Christ can bear the weight. Of this I have no doubt. For Jesus Christ has helped me with mine, and He can handle everyone’s. This was why He went to the cross. For the burdens of all that have lived, that are alive and that will live.

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