sad

Confessions of a screwed up middle aged man: a sad comment


So the other day, one of my fellow co-workers walks up to me. He says he was talking to another co-worker who said this about me:
“He is the only person here that says he is a Christian and actually acts like it. All the others that say they are do not.”
This made me speechless. Not out of pride, or shock, but in actual sorrow.
I talk to a few people at work that say they are also “Christian.” One of them seem to be doing the right thing.
About me? I know I sin. I know I am not perfect. I strive to follow the teachings of the Bible as best I can, but I still fall short.
Yet to have someone say, that I am the exception, on the good side. I would rather be the exception on the bad. Due in part to my failings as a human.
There are many that do not state they are “Christian.”
There are many that actually deny God.
But to be deemed the only one, in a place that has hundreds. This is sad.

To the gentle people


How does someone try to show who he or she really are? It can take years to truly know someone. It can take longer if they hide their true self from you. Be it intentionally or out of fear. Those that do it out of fear, do it out of shame, usually, for some action that happened to them before they met the party that wishes to know who they are.
Then there are those tout there that truly desire to share, not only their past, be it good or bad, but their future as well. They look at the world with a child’s excitement, yet they remember getting their fingers burned figuratively speaking. This burning is impressed upon them, which makes them shy, stand offish, or slow to act when someone seeks to get to learn more about them. Kind caring people like that have the hardest time in the world.
Repeatedly they run into someone that tries to tear them down. Yet time and again they spring back for the most part. Sometimes they become jaded. Sometimes they start to become like those that attempt to tear them down.
It is times like this that they need to seek something more then themselves. Many seek out an escape through a diversion, or a substance. Many retreat into themselves. There is another option though; one that has been there longer then any of us.
It is something that will accept all as they are at this moment. Yet it will allow those that seek to return to the kind and gentle-person they started as.
In time when that person is ready within themselves it will ask them to change into someone who will stop thinking of themselves, and begin to reach out to others. Giving them a kindness that is within them which will cause others to wonder why this person before them is so gentle and compassionate.
Some of these may be the ones that caused the person to become jaded and they will look on in astonishment and start to think how this is possible.
They may ask the person that is kind and caring and this person will respond:
“It is God through His Son Jesus that I am as you see now.”