Confessions of a screwed up middle aged man: As I seek

As I look about me for a new mate. I watch how ladies act. I find myself checking their left hand for a ring on a certain finger. I comptemplate how we might progress in our possible future as I am determined to work for only nine more years.
I also wonder if that retirement will be as I hope as I see the nation I call home falling apart about me.
I use to prefer ladies younger than me. Even at one point dating a nineteen year old when I was thirty-three. My last wife was even eleven years younger than me, to be honest. Now though that is not what I seek. Now they need to be much closer to my age. They should be looking forward to their retirement as I am. I so want to travel this country once again. I desire to camp within the Rockies and watch the sun change the shadows upon then as the day passes.
I know there is someone out there. But where? There are so many issues to overcome when growing a relationship. They are challenges I know I can overcome. I could have even stayed with my last wife if she could have overcome her selfish behavior. She did not. The stress she placed upon me would have continued to turn what hair I had left upon my head from grey to white as my beard is now.
How do you find a woman that does not smoke or only care for herself?
Dating sites are a joke because the ladies there are seeking a fantasy they will never find. I still laugh inside as I see that they will only give you the time of day if you look like a superhero, and have all their virtues as well.
Well I have the virtues. I am kind, caring, loving, but I have a beer belly even though I do not drink or smoke. I have worked hard my entire life for the most part. I even have damaged lungs because I insisted on being a hard worker. Yet I cannot get a worthwhile lady to even give me the time of day.
As I have stated before this corruptible body is only a temporary body. Used in this lifetime that will be like a blink of the eye compared to our real life we are promised by God. A life that will last billions of years in a body that will not only look like a superheroes, but also have the abilities of one. To be able to travel in an instant to anywhere in the universe, to be muscular and strong, and yet still have the kindness and caring you developed in the corruptible life. How humbling that will be to know that it took corruption to instill true kindness and thoughtfulness. The good man I am now will be the man then in the service of Christ.
Is it then that I will finally meet my mate or will she already be there at my side from this current life?


  1. I understand where you are and it unfortunate that in this world, believers seemed destined to suffer. Romans 5 says it develops our character. Yeshua says some men are born eunuchs, some are made eunuchs and some make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom’s sake. The world grows more corrupt and yet some of us are still here as lights it seems.
    I lost my beloved soulmate 6 weeks ago and i can tell you there is truth to the statement that better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But loss does give this world perspective.
    I do not believe this is the way our Father wanted it and I am beginning to write about some of the things He gave me. I posted a piece on the Mystery of Intimacy on my blog, written by my beloved.
    The veil seems so heavy right now on this side, but know he is waiting for me on the other side. Your true love may still be here so do not lose hope, but ask the Father, “Who is my Beloved? and Where is she?” I believe He desires more for His children than the unfortunate trials we face in finding mates presently,at least that’s what He’s revealed to me. Don’t give up and don’t compromise. God wants to give you the most excellent partner. Keep persevering!

    1. Thanks for your words, and I am sorry that you are temporarily separated from your forever partner. I know you will be reunited and will enjoy many more journeys together. I did compromise once and I have learned that lesson so I fully agree with you on not doing so. The moment I read your wording of “Who is my Beloved? and Where is She?” I said in a pray to our Lord. Once again thank you for words, they were well received.

      1. I am blessed by your reply. You are right. Life has taught some of us to wait for what is praiseworthy and excellent. I will pray for the Lord to send you His best for you but I will rest in the knowledge that one day He will reunite each of us with our eternal mates and what a joyous day that will be for all. Our Beloved Saviour will also rejoice to be reunited with His He is still waiting. Can’t really beat His record…2000 years of waiting for a bride…He is awesome! So are you….your dream will become a reality…so we wait.

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