dating

To the ladies on dating sites (especially Christian Mingle)

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Re-post and update

I was just watching the news and they had a segment about how more and more women are finding themselves staying single. The problem stated in the segment? Women are looking for what equates to a fantasy man that does not exist.
I admittedly am on a couple… well a few sites myself, and I would have to agree with this news segments findings. I am in my fifties and am once again looking. So when I look I see someone that interested me. I check them out and look for compatibility. Then I stop dead in my tracks. Most are looking for athletic, muscular, tone men. In their fifties?
I did my research, since I admit I am overweight. Over fifty percent of all males over fifty are overweight. Then you add in smokers, men that are not desirable attitude wise and if you are lucky maybe just maybe two percent of males fit what women are looking for that could maybe fit the fantasy women have made for themselves and so they end up single.
In the segment, the women stated that they are looking for a kind man. From my own observations most kind men fall into the fifty plus percentage that are overweight, and are over fifty percent of that original fifty percent plus. So ladies it is time for a wake-up call.
Do you want the fantasy or do you want happiness? It is time to rethink what you really want in your life. It is time to decide if you want to remain single or if you want to share your life with someone that wishes to share your life with you.
Now to those that partake of Christian Mingle, where again I see women looking for the fantasy male. These ladies disappoint me the most. As I have discussed in other posts of mine is that this life we now live is temporary, basically we are trying life on for size and seeing if we do well with it, then we will move on into an eternal body when Christ returns to earth. This eternal body I will theorize will be at our physical best. In others words the very fantasy man you ladies are looking for. So think on this. If you go looking for that kind, caring, man that will treat you as an equal. Not someone that looks down on you, or abuses you. A man that seeks to have a partner throughout all eternity is someone you should be seeking out, but as I stated above most the men that fit this description are overweight. To me this is a test for you ladies to go through. Can you look past the physical and look to the spiritual? That is what those that go to Christian Mingle should be searching for. I know I do.
So sue me, I am being a bit selfish here, because I would like the chance to share my life with someone special as well. A life that to me will not last for thirty or even forty more years, but billions. It will only work out that way if a few ladies do wake up and start to look for inner quality over outer quality.
Good luck ladies and I wish you the best in your efforts.

 

I noticed someone looked at this post. I  re-read it. As of this March 2021 I will be celebrating my 6th anniversary with a woman I desire to spend all eternity with.

My recommendation was correct.  Seek a Godly man eventhough they are harder to find than the fantasy man…

Again good luck and know that Jesus is soon to return

The “White Knight Syndrome” vs. being a good Christian man

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re-post
Recently I was described as having “White Knight Syndrome.” So I got curious and looked to see if there really was such a thing and guess what, there is. The way it was described in short was a man that seeks out several women at once that wants to rescue them from their problems and feels that women are weak and require a strong man to come to their aid amongst other non-appealing traits.
I read this and just said “You have to be kidding.”
I really do not fit into this model not even in the slightest. Being a Christian I have learned through study and pray as well as trial and error, that if you wish to be the head of the household you are in fact becoming the leader of it. It says plainly in the Bible that if you lead you must become a servant. So as a Christian male and head of a household I am to place all within this household before myself and so be a servant unto them.
Now that does not mean you become a butler and wait upon everyone in the house, catering to their every need like I have read some women actually want, which also describes my fist wife. Being a Christian man, I know that I am to strive to make those within my home happy. I do this through working a job and providing an income. I do this by providing a roof over our heads. I do this by see that all are fed, clothed and given a good education if they are my children.
This must all be done before I consider doing anything for myself. Does this mean I have to rescue the woman I call my wife? No. Admittedly, my two marriages have not worked out, one due to my first wife wanting a butler, which she now has. The second is a bit more difficult to explain, but there was really no “White Knight Syndrome” involved. By the way, this is where the part of “trial and error” came into play as I mentioned earlier.
What I do know is that being a Christian man is that you care, especially for those that you love and cherish. Sure, you would like to “rescue” them from time to time, but that cannot happen all the time. They need to fall then pick themselves up, and be allowed to turn to God and seek Him out.

(UPDATE)

When I wrote this I was divorced for the 2nd time. I have since remarried. I found it interesting and prove that God is real in this third instance.
I knew I couldn’t be unmarried for I knew I would live in sin. However, I had grown unhappy with how things were going with looking for someone new. I turned it over to God. That same week, my now wife turned over her frustration on the same issue to God. We then after being on “Christian Mingle” for two year found each other there for the first time.
My wife is my soulmate and the person God sent to rescue me, not the other way around. I have never been happier in my life. All praise and glory to the Lord Almighty through His Son the Lord Jesus Christ.

God will provide

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To have someone that in more way then not share what you like and activities you enjoy is the same they enjoy is something that is near impossible to find. There may be some mathematical equation that states the odds are most likely a million to one. Then you add in that at one point this someone was thousands of miles away from where you lived most of your live then they may say the odds of ever meeting this person is even higher. Yet it happens.
We are told to turn over everything unto God, and allow Him to guide our path in live. This is one thing that has been hard for me to do. I know to a degree we must still act and do things, but it is something as important as finding that certain someone to share your live it is important to give most if not all this unto Him.
Twice I have gone down this journey on my own, and twice it has failed in heartbreak and sorrow. Since my year of Job I have learned to give God praise constantly. I go about my day only breaking for a moment to address something of the world and then I return inside my head to praising God and His Son my Savior.
We are told to do this in the Bible, but I do not know how many truly to do it. As I do, I go about asking the Lord for those things that would allow me to be a better Child of God.
One thing we are told that if we divorce God would rather we stay single. It is clearly stated though that if we cannot refrain from what is good in marriage then we are to remarry. So this time I prayed, and the odds that mathematics calls impossible became possible.
Why? Because God is real.

Confessions of a screwed up middle aged man: How do you define dating in today’s world?

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Dating has changed so much just since I was in high school in the 1970s. I never truly liked having to pursue someone I was interested in getting know, but it is something that had to be done, for God made it plain that Adam should not be alone and thus made Eve.
In the ‘70s you had schools to get to meet someone or events. Now we have internet dating sites or even matchmaking services. You have a profile that someone reads, your picture for him or her to look at. Then the courage needed to type a message saying, “Hey you want to chat” or something like that.
Then you chat, through either e-mails or instant messaging, or texting each other on your phones. You get a feeling on how that person thinks feels and believes. Then you talk on the phone and see how each other sounds responds in a one on one conversation and see if they hold up.
Then you meet in person for the first time. Is this a first date? I mean really. Think on that. What if you felt really comfortable with the person you had been chatting with? What if to you they were beautiful or handsome in the picture they had presented for the world to see?
You meet them in person and they are looking great to you. You enjoy a drink, or a meal, or a walk in park or mall. Is this really the first date? You feel you know them. You enjoy their company. You see nothing negative. You see they have been honest with you and they see you have been honest with them. Is this really the first date?
In the movie “The Quiet Man” with John Wayne. He is an Americanized Irishman that is confronted with the dating practices of rural Ireland at the time the movie is made in the 1930s. In the movie they list different events that will take place a month at a time, but it all boiled down to seeing if you were compatible. Meaning shared the same likes, enjoyed the company of the other person, and mainly if you see God’s hand was present in the match between you.
Now days all that should truly matter is God’s approval. I can honestly say that was not present in my previous long-term relationships. The first time due to both being too young. The second due to deception taking place from the other side.
I guess it really does not matter what you call a first date, but I can say it is best not to rush. Why? To avoid the chance of deception. It is also important to be very honest. However, this brings up a point. How can you check the honestly of someone? I do not even have an idea how to answer that question myself. Go with your gut, which is where you know God will lead you from.
Be sure how you feel. Be sure how they feel. See if being with that other person makes you feel right. What is more important is making sure that it is a type of relationship God supports. If God calls it a sin in the Bible, it is a sin. This means it is wrong. The Bible also said to those that have been married before, that it would be best to stay single, but if you could not go without those actions that are called blessed within a marriage, but a sin outside of marriage it would be better for you to remarry so you would not live in sin.
So do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. Pray and ask for His support and favor, and it will be a blessed relationship.

Confessions of a screwed up middle aged man: As I seek

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As I look about me for a new mate. I watch how ladies act. I find myself checking their left hand for a ring on a certain finger. I comptemplate how we might progress in our possible future as I am determined to work for only nine more years.
I also wonder if that retirement will be as I hope as I see the nation I call home falling apart about me.
I use to prefer ladies younger than me. Even at one point dating a nineteen year old when I was thirty-three. My last wife was even eleven years younger than me, to be honest. Now though that is not what I seek. Now they need to be much closer to my age. They should be looking forward to their retirement as I am. I so want to travel this country once again. I desire to camp within the Rockies and watch the sun change the shadows upon then as the day passes.
I know there is someone out there. But where? There are so many issues to overcome when growing a relationship. They are challenges I know I can overcome. I could have even stayed with my last wife if she could have overcome her selfish behavior. She did not. The stress she placed upon me would have continued to turn what hair I had left upon my head from grey to white as my beard is now.
How do you find a woman that does not smoke or only care for herself?
Dating sites are a joke because the ladies there are seeking a fantasy they will never find. I still laugh inside as I see that they will only give you the time of day if you look like a superhero, and have all their virtues as well.
Well I have the virtues. I am kind, caring, loving, but I have a beer belly even though I do not drink or smoke. I have worked hard my entire life for the most part. I even have damaged lungs because I insisted on being a hard worker. Yet I cannot get a worthwhile lady to even give me the time of day.
As I have stated before this corruptible body is only a temporary body. Used in this lifetime that will be like a blink of the eye compared to our real life we are promised by God. A life that will last billions of years in a body that will not only look like a superheroes, but also have the abilities of one. To be able to travel in an instant to anywhere in the universe, to be muscular and strong, and yet still have the kindness and caring you developed in the corruptible life. How humbling that will be to know that it took corruption to instill true kindness and thoughtfulness. The good man I am now will be the man then in the service of Christ.
Is it then that I will finally meet my mate or will she already be there at my side from this current life?

Steel Blue

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In all my life, I feel I can honestly say I have never truly seen steel blue eyes until very recently. I have seen them depicted in comic books. I have read their description in books, but to have actually seen them for real is just amazing.
I have looked into various women’s eyes more times than I would like, but I have never been lucky in that department. My two marriages both lasted around a decade. Both of them had hazel eyes. I enjoyed looking into those eyes, especially for the first one. The first girl I could call a girlfriend had blue eyes, but not much you can think of doing but playing when you are five.
Then I saw those eyes that were the brightest pale blue I have ever seen, and I wished I were a younger man. I thought I had crossed a line in my maturity the day I watched a Taylor Swift video and thought, “she would be a wonderful daughter.” Now here I am wanting to hold a young woman and just stare into her eyes and get lost in them in between kisses.
Dare I ask? I do not know.

A comment on attempting to date in your 50’s

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The wonders of having to start dating again in your mid-fifties. What I find the most amazing is how many people live in a fantasy world. Guys want a skinny woman with a hard body (Not me by the way). Women want men with six packs. Over fifty percent of men over fifty are overweight. From my own personal observation, a good deal of men that are not overweight have other issues that make them skinny. Me I am overweight. Am I proud of it? No, but it is fact.
Another thing is I am brutally honest, and a lot of ladies can’t seem to handle honesty.
Again this is all subjective, personal experiences.
I look forward to my retirement as it looms ahead of me. I know exactly how I wish to spend that retirement. I will see a lot of the nation again. That is something I really miss. I love to travel on the road. I thoroughly enjoy going into national parks and see bear, moose, elf, and bison roaming about within them. It is something that needs to be shared.
I try to impress this upon those I talk to and some get it, but known have gotten to the point of wishing to join me in these adventures.
Well I still have time. There is someone out there, and I look forward to meeting them.