marriage

The “White Knight Syndrome” vs. being a good Christian man


re-post
Recently I was described as having “White Knight Syndrome.” So I got curious and looked to see if there really was such a thing and guess what, there is. The way it was described in short was a man that seeks out several women at once that wants to rescue them from their problems and feels that women are weak and require a strong man to come to their aid amongst other non-appealing traits.
I read this and just said “You have to be kidding.”
I really do not fit into this model not even in the slightest. Being a Christian I have learned through study and pray as well as trial and error, that if you wish to be the head of the household you are in fact becoming the leader of it. It says plainly in the Bible that if you lead you must become a servant. So as a Christian male and head of a household I am to place all within this household before myself and so be a servant unto them.
Now that does not mean you become a butler and wait upon everyone in the house, catering to their every need like I have read some women actually want, which also describes my fist wife. Being a Christian man, I know that I am to strive to make those within my home happy. I do this through working a job and providing an income. I do this by providing a roof over our heads. I do this by see that all are fed, clothed and given a good education if they are my children.
This must all be done before I consider doing anything for myself. Does this mean I have to rescue the woman I call my wife? No. Admittedly, my two marriages have not worked out, one due to my first wife wanting a butler, which she now has. The second is a bit more difficult to explain, but there was really no “White Knight Syndrome” involved. By the way, this is where the part of “trial and error” came into play as I mentioned earlier.
What I do know is that being a Christian man is that you care, especially for those that you love and cherish. Sure, you would like to “rescue” them from time to time, but that cannot happen all the time. They need to fall then pick themselves up, and be allowed to turn to God and seek Him out.

(UPDATE)

When I wrote this I was divorced for the 2nd time. I have since remarried. I found it interesting and prove that God is real in this third instance.
I knew I couldn’t be unmarried for I knew I would live in sin. However, I had grown unhappy with how things were going with looking for someone new. I turned it over to God. That same week, my now wife turned over her frustration on the same issue to God. We then after being on “Christian Mingle” for two year found each other there for the first time.
My wife is my soulmate and the person God sent to rescue me, not the other way around. I have never been happier in my life. All praise and glory to the Lord Almighty through His Son the Lord Jesus Christ.

Confessions of a screwed up middle-aged man: God’s time


This is a snapshot into my life.
We are told in the Bible that the man is to leave his father and mother and cleave unto the woman that becomes his wife making one entity.
Well at the age of 20 I did that and for nearly 13 years through growing up and finding God the man I had become was not acceptable to the woman that I had married. So she cast me aside even though I knew she was the one woman that was I meant to be with me forever.
For ten years I waited for her to return. Even after she remarried, I waited. Striving to follow the teaching of God.
Then toward the end of this decade I did what I was not supposed to do. First my faith waivered, second I placed too much emphasis on me doing God’s work and less on letting God do God’s work.
As a result I met another woman and married. It was not till near the end of the 9th year of marriage to this one that I came to find that I had been lied too, deceived. The woman I thought I had married did not exist. Instead the woman I was married to brought into my life destruction and chaos and destitution. Soon after I entered into my year of Job and kept the promises I had made to her and myself if she did not correct her ways. As a result I was divorced for the second time.
I had returned to my correct place with where I should be with God, yet different. I was in a different city. I was a different man. So God knowing this set me upon a new path. A path that would allow me to serve Him and allow me to reach out to more people then I have ever envisioned myself reaching. Do they listen or ignore me I do not know, but many have read my words and still a seed is planted that may or may not grow.
As I followed God, I let Him lead me. Well, He led me to another woman. A woman I did not know could ever exist.
We share so much in common, yet there are still differences that make it interesting and exciting to be with her. I can say she is truly “God sent.”
Due to my believe and love for God I knew that my human desires would interfere with my walk with God, and God has made a provision just for this. He states that if you divorce and you cannot stay single He would rather us remarry then to live in sin. But I also must add that when you serve God He will reward you if you are truly serving me.
As a result yesterday I married for the third and last time. For she is truly the woman I am meant to live with for all eternity. I know that it stated until death, but when you truly understand God there is no death except that caused by sin. If you live for God and you serve God you will do so for all eternity and so you will do that with a companion because we are told we are not meant to be alone. My companion is my new wife and it is she that has now truly replaced my first wife and for that I will love her forever with only God being more important. For the person I was at twenty is not the man I am today. We are two different people, even though I have always been this person that now types these words. The person then was a child of sin and the man I am now is a child of God.

Confessions of a screwed up middle-aged man


What is it to love a woman? What are the factors that cause you to choose one person from another? I have cared for several girls and women since I first realized I liked the opposite sex. How old was I? Four?
The first girl I cared for was in Great Falls, Montana. Her name was Wendy. She was a brunette and she had blue eyes. She was rather beautiful to a five your old boy, but then she was five herself.
My first full-blown crush was when I was fourteen. Her name was Sue. I was extremely awkward. I did not know how to act at all at that age. I was shy beyond all measure because of my gawkiness. I do remember dancing with her. She had long brown hair and dark brown eyes. She had one of the sweetest personalities, but due to my ungainliness, possibly I was not her type. Therefore, it was an unrequited encounter.
As I look back on my relationships, I come to the uncomfortable realization. I have loved the women in my live more than they have loved me. How can I say this? My first wife chose to look for older men then stay married to me. My second wife admitted to me that she tricked me into marrying her and that she did not love me. Was I naive? I guess so.
In a way, I feel I deserve to be without a woman in my life. My first wife I met in my years when God was not in my life. That did not happen until six years later. Of all the women in my life, I miss her the most. Mainly because she left me not the other way around like in my second marriage.
One thing I need to learn to do, and apparently have not is place this in God’s hand. I know due to free-will we must make some effort in relationships on our own, but still I feel I should be praying more before I act.
Only time will tell. One thing is for sure. I do not want to spend the next billion years without someone by my side. There will be so many adventures in that time. So many wonders to see and I want to be able to share them.