Confessions of a screwed up middle-aged man: God’s time


This is a snapshot into my life.
We are told in the Bible that the man is to leave his father and mother and cleave unto the woman that becomes his wife making one entity.
Well at the age of 20 I did that and for nearly 13 years through growing up and finding God the man I had become was not acceptable to the woman that I had married. So she cast me aside even though I knew she was the one woman that was I meant to be with me forever.
For ten years I waited for her to return. Even after she remarried, I waited. Striving to follow the teaching of God.
Then toward the end of this decade I did what I was not supposed to do. First my faith waivered, second I placed too much emphasis on me doing God’s work and less on letting God do God’s work.
As a result I met another woman and married. It was not till near the end of the 9th year of marriage to this one that I came to find that I had been lied too, deceived. The woman I thought I had married did not exist. Instead the woman I was married to brought into my life destruction and chaos and destitution. Soon after I entered into my year of Job and kept the promises I had made to her and myself if she did not correct her ways. As a result I was divorced for the second time.
I had returned to my correct place with where I should be with God, yet different. I was in a different city. I was a different man. So God knowing this set me upon a new path. A path that would allow me to serve Him and allow me to reach out to more people then I have ever envisioned myself reaching. Do they listen or ignore me I do not know, but many have read my words and still a seed is planted that may or may not grow.
As I followed God, I let Him lead me. Well, He led me to another woman. A woman I did not know could ever exist.
We share so much in common, yet there are still differences that make it interesting and exciting to be with her. I can say she is truly “God sent.”
Due to my believe and love for God I knew that my human desires would interfere with my walk with God, and God has made a provision just for this. He states that if you divorce and you cannot stay single He would rather us remarry then to live in sin. But I also must add that when you serve God He will reward you if you are truly serving me.
As a result yesterday I married for the third and last time. For she is truly the woman I am meant to live with for all eternity. I know that it stated until death, but when you truly understand God there is no death except that caused by sin. If you live for God and you serve God you will do so for all eternity and so you will do that with a companion because we are told we are not meant to be alone. My companion is my new wife and it is she that has now truly replaced my first wife and for that I will love her forever with only God being more important. For the person I was at twenty is not the man I am today. We are two different people, even though I have always been this person that now types these words. The person then was a child of sin and the man I am now is a child of God.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s