Confessions of a screwed up middle aged man: trials


Trials come to all. It is what we are told will happen within the Bible. Some will be by God Himself. Testing our mind and our spirit. Challenging us to think, overcome, and if that does not work turn to His Son the Lord Jesus Christ.
I have been going through one of these trials for about a month now. It is now time to put it into typed words what it is like to be going through this time of stress and hopefully growth in my faith.
From outward appearances the outcome seem to be bright, and bless by God. From within the struggle even though I do see the outward manifestation that is to come I still must make it through the dark tunnel to the light that awaits upon the other side of it.
It is not important the details of the trial before me, but it is one that in the long run will strengthen and hopefully allow my family to bond and to join as one. Through this trial I have seen the change within me from the man I was before my year of Job and the man I am today. I am actually doing things I only, maybe, thought of doing a few years ago. Now I know when the burden is more than I can carry on my own so I seek support from my soon to be wife and if that is still not enough we join together in pray. Turning over to God and allowing Him to lead us down the road He see that is best for us to go down. Should I go to pray first? I cannot answer that without thinking: “where is the growth?” A parent wishes his child to learn to stand upon their own two feet and not lean upon the parent anymore but to prove themselves to be adults. This I think is how God wishes us to grow as well. To stand upon our own two feet for as long as we can, but I must add that He wishes us to know when it is time to turn to Him and His Son and to seek their guidance and comfort.
It is hard to explain how to “know” which is the correct road, but I will say this. I can tell when it is me making the choice and when it is God directing me. I can sense within me that it is Him influencing me through the Holy Spirit, for I can tell it is coming not from within me, but from an external force that is guiding me down the right road.
It is important that people that call themselves “Christian” come to learn the difference, for when they do not, more times than not they listen to themselves more then they listen to God. As a result we have the society we now live within. A society full of pseudo-Christians, otherwise known as “hypocrites,” that cater to the latest whim and fad of “faith” being taught to them by those that have no real concept of God themselves. This is the thing that Jesus had to deal with when He walked the earth over two thousand years ago and had to deal with the leaders of the Jewish faith that would later crucify Him. They did not know because they did not listen God that Jesus was His Son, but on the third day when He rose from the dead all learned that He was truly the Son of God. Many today, even those that “lead” churches live like they are Pharisees.
A true believe in God and His Son the Lord Jesus Christ is to have the knowledge within oneself that God is not “in” you. True the Holy Spirit can fill you, for I have felt the pouring of the Holy Spirit into me, but I also know that the spiritual world and the real world are two different places. God, His Son and the Holy Ghost can and have gone between these two realms. We cannot at this time, but we are promised that we will when we loss the corrupted with the uncorrupted. It is from the spiritual place that we receive direction from God, which is beyond this temporal form we now live in. When can learn the difference through trials of your faith, much like the one I am now going through. You learn how to grow in your believe in God and His Son the Lord Jesus Christ.

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