life

About me

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I am forced today to do something that I have not wanted to do. I take no pride or pleasure in what I am about to type. But my hand is being forced by those that believe I write these postings for my self-glorification, which is the furthest thing from the truth for I know I am in no way perfect or near perfect, but I will stick only to my faith and how it came to me as best I can.
Now I know I have mentioned events in my past, but I told them in a way to help those reading to identify with me so they could see the truth in what I was trying to tell them, and that is all it was meant to do. I accepted Jesus into my life when I was twenty-five, but I did not become born-again until June 25, 1986 when I felt the Holy Spirit pour into me. On that day I spoke in tongues, and from time to time I have since then. For the next two years as I poured through the Bible and learned more and more about faith I was given dreams by God (Acts 2:17). Some of these dreams made it into the book I wrote because of them most I did not. Some I have posted here in this blog. Many were meant solely for me to grow in my faith and so I will never share them. Others like knowing a full month before it was made public that Jimmy Swaggart was committing adultery I tried to tell others but fell upon deaf ears.
From about the early nineties I entered in the time of my faith that I feel many slip into. It is neither an improvement in your faith or a step away. It is this type of faith that I call the grey zone you are neither hot nor cold for God. Those that are called lukewarm. It is a faith that I feel most fall into and are not fully aware they have. It is these that I seek to speak to more than any other person for they are mentioned within the book of Revelation and Jesus said it is these that he would spew from his mouth. It is these that think they shall be taken in the Rapture, but shall instead find themselves still here upon this earth. It is a place I knew I was in and for all I know still may be, for only Jesus can answer that question at this time.
Then 2013 happened, my year of Job, my soon to be ex-wife had allowed my apartment to become that of a hoarders. I begged and pleaded for her to address it, but she refused, and since I was working full time was unable to address on my own, because once I did clean, I would find a mess twice as large replacing it the next day. Then she was arrested for shoplifting. Two days later, I was evicted from my apartment. Two week later the management of the apartment made it impossible for me to move any of my personal property out so I lost all of my personal possessions and items of importance like photo albums were forever lost to me. During the entire year, one tribulation after another took place until I finally placed everything before God and throw myself upon His mercy.
It was through this year of tribulation that I learned how selfish I truly was. Even though I was nowhere near as selfish as I had been before I came to be born-again. It was through these trials that I learned that all must go to God. That all else comes before me. God first, family second, the world third and then just maybe me. I was given a burden on my heart to start posting first in Facebook and then finally in this blog. Why? So that I can cause others to think about where they stand with God. About if they are being selfish. If they are willing to understand that it is God and His Son Jesus that we owe our very existence too. Since there have been many times throughout history that it was through God that humans still walk upon this planet this very day. It was through God that the nation of the United States even exists and that the way it was structured exists.
I can go no further with this post.

The Realization

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I have been upon this world for fifty-four years. I remember the assassination of JFK. I remember sitting in the school auditorium to watch the launch of Apollo 9 as it headed off to the moon (by the way, yes man actually walked on the moon). I remember telling my first wife the day before the event actually happened that the Challenger would explode upon take off, and her waking me from a nap due to a migraine telling me that is exactly what happened. There is much I have encountered, there is much I have seen and heard, but that pales in what is to come when this corrupted body finally gives out.
A few days ago, while I was writing another post I finally came to the full acceptance that this life we live is only temporary. Now I know I have been writing as such, but for some reason it was not those posts that gave me the full and complete realization.
What did it for me was when I knew without question I could sacrifice myself for someone else. Now I have asked this of myself more than once in the five plus decades, but this was the first time I actually had the answer. When I got this answer, I knew that I was ready to fully accept moving on from this existence into the next one. The only thing that I would wish for is that it took me straight into my new, perfect and immortal body. Will this happen? I do not know, but I do know without question that I feel I can overcome my fears that are a part of my corrupted body and stand and face whatever would cause me to sacrifice myself for another fellow human being.

Live life like there is a tomorrow (because there is)

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Some understanding of the Bible has been lost over time and never truly understood and may not have been taught correctly. It is something I have tried to explain before, but few understood (Life— the free trail at eternity). Many go around both in religion and outside of it seeking through themselves a way to have immortality. If not through some type of scientific discovery through changing how the world exist through some type of cultural change. Now I do understand how this can come about. As of yet only two people have risen from the dead. The first was Lazarus who then again died and then Jesus, who then ascended into heaven so He is not here in person to see. There is also two others that have yet to experience death, they are Ezekiel and Elijah, but again it is not the time to see these two.
So people think there is only a short period in which they can be important to the world as a whole. This is one of the biggest misconceptions ever.
Our lives are being recorded in a book, each person their own book. Within it is every single action, thought and non-action we have ever done or not done as the case may be. This is being done for every single person that lived, is alive or will live. This has been done even if you never heard of God. For those that have not heard of God how they behaved will be how they make it through the next part of our immortal live. For those that have heard of God it is going to be tougher on which way you spend your immortal life. It is said it is better for those that never heard of God, and this is why it was said.
No matter what occurs every single person is promised an immortal life. So how we live our lives now IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.
Living like there is no tomorrow is not the correct mentality anyone should have. Living to only please yourself is actually the worst idea ever put out there.
Live in preparation for tomorrow. A tomorrow that will allow you to see things of such wonder that they are beyond the ability of a mere mortal to even attempt to put words too.
Live not for yourself, because we are not promised any rewards in this life, but in the immortal life to come, we are promised rewards.
Live today for God and for his Son Jesus Christ who died for you upon a cross so you would not have to live an immortal life in a place no one should ever want to live in.
Understand that all that love God wants everyone to love Him as well and to join in the promised immortal reward yet to come. Do not be stuck behind in a place you do not want to be in. Turn to God and accept Him through His Son Jesus.

The reply that was not wanted

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Last week I had made a comment on a fellow bloggers posting they had made about self-righteousness. We ended up exchanging a few paragraphs to each other. Then he made some assumptions about me that I know not to be true, maybe he decided I fit into a stereotype that he had come to expect from someone being Christian or not I do not know.
When I make these blogs, I try my best not to sound judgmental in any way. I have no desire to judge anyone, but I know at times that I fail, because I am human. I just want people to start to think. When you allow others to tell you how to think, how to act, how to say things you are surrendering your right as a human being. We are not sheep. It is the sheep mentality that led to World War II as people surrendered their believes and free-will to an extremely charismatic man, which in turn led to the death of approximately thirteen million people that did nothing but have a different point of view or way of life.
Yet he judged me and in a roundabout way said I was being judgmental which I was not and even stated as much to him telling him what I have just typed above. I actual feel sorry for him, yet I know if he reads this that the mere fact that I said I pitied him will upset him.
I had tried to tell him that those that truly follow the teaching of Christ try their best to be servants unto others, but not in a way that makes them someone’s butler or slave. That is not what it means to be selfless, which is one question he asked in his last reply before politely telling me not to bother to reply.
To be selfless you must not think of yourself. The words “I” and “me” need to no longer have full meaning in your life. Can anyone be fully selfless? No. It is something we are taught within the Bible to pursue though. When you are selfless, it is easier to follow the teaching of Jesus, because you are not hindered by the question “How will this affect me?” because you really no longer care if it does affect you. Me posting these blogs are not to glorify myself, that is why I do not place my name upon them. These are not for me; they are for you the person reading them. To help you learn and grow and understand, and maybe, just maybe an acceptance of Jesus into your life. Sure, there are those that do know who I am, due to Facebook links for example, but they have seen me doing post like this for a year or so now.
In addition he accused me of looking down upon others, which again is opposite of being selfless. I look at all my fellow humans as my equals. Sure, I do not like their lifestyle choices, because I know where they are heading with many of these choices. When you care for all others before yourself, you try and help them. That is what Jesus did. He went to where those that needed him the most were these were the sinners. Did he condone their sin? No. Did he go to them shouting you will burn forever if you do not change your ways? VERY MUCH A NO! Jesus stated facts as seen within the Bible.
I am stating facts, when you live your life as designed through the teaching of Christ you are not able to commit extreme sins. Yes, you will sin. We all sin. Are they murder for example? NO!! Because when you are selfless you could never kill a fellow human being. If you had enough food for only one person to live on for a week at which time they would be saved and it was between yourself or your child. The parent would die from starvation then allow their child to die. The Christian would go one-step further. If the two people were strangers, the Christian would allow themselves to die so the other person could live.
Every person has worth to God, even though they deny Him. Christians realize this and know that if they hurt another human being then they are actually hurting God.
Another thing that really got my attention was he had some impression that I was still seeking something. In his comments though he mentioned, Buddha, Moses, Muhammad and Confucius. That struck me as if he were the one seeking to find something. I know that I am willing to die for my fellow man if required. I know that if need I will have the courage to force down my fears and place myself in a position that would allow someone else to live another day if that additional day caused them to come to the realization that God is real. I know that this life we live in today is only for a short time and that the only thing truly important within it is my fellow humans that are here now seeking to find that elusive something that is beyond their reach. It is something I have found. It is something I am attempting to share. It is GOD, and with God will be ALIVE for all eternity.

Life— the free trail at eternity.

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We are promised in the Bible that when the time comes we will be called up to be with the Lord forever. We will have the body that is corruptible to be replaced with an incorruptible and immortal body.
This life is nothing more than a trial period to see how we handle the use of our Life. Like any trial offers you look to see if the product is to your liking.
It is also to see if you will care for the product.
Like all products there are certain rules and stipulations that need to be followed. If you do not follow them than when you return the product damaged you will have to pay for the damage caused to it.
This is what we are told will take place. In Revelation chapter 20 the user’s manual of our life will be examined and if damage was done and occurred to our life then we have to pay for the damage done to it at that time.
For those that took good care of their life they shall be rewarded with a life that will last for billions of years.
Do the laws laid down in Genesis, Exodus and Deuteronomy apply as the “rules and stipulations”. I would say yes. Since Jesus stated he was not there to replace the law, but to fulfill it.
Throughout the centuries certain acts were open and exposed to the world. In the last one hundred or so years many of these behaviors have been covered and hidden away. Now these deeds are returning to being exposed once again. Many decry their return from behind locked doors and whispers. I do not. I feel that if you wish to choose the fate of your life. Do so in the light of day. Allow all to know what you choose.
We are also told not to judge, for by the very standard we judge others so shall we be judged. What we are told to do is to pray for those that choose the life of sin. Teach them what is right. Allow them the opportunity to repent if they so choose. Love them as a brother or sister, for that is what they are.
As long as we try to instruct them, our fellow humans, on how to use the user’s manual then some will decide to treat their life correctly. Then when the time comes they will be able to get their new life. A life that will last beyond all time. A life that will allow them to witness all the wonders of the universe. A universe created by God.

Confessions of a screwed up middle-aged man

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What is it to love a woman? What are the factors that cause you to choose one person from another? I have cared for several girls and women since I first realized I liked the opposite sex. How old was I? Four?
The first girl I cared for was in Great Falls, Montana. Her name was Wendy. She was a brunette and she had blue eyes. She was rather beautiful to a five your old boy, but then she was five herself.
My first full-blown crush was when I was fourteen. Her name was Sue. I was extremely awkward. I did not know how to act at all at that age. I was shy beyond all measure because of my gawkiness. I do remember dancing with her. She had long brown hair and dark brown eyes. She had one of the sweetest personalities, but due to my ungainliness, possibly I was not her type. Therefore, it was an unrequited encounter.
As I look back on my relationships, I come to the uncomfortable realization. I have loved the women in my live more than they have loved me. How can I say this? My first wife chose to look for older men then stay married to me. My second wife admitted to me that she tricked me into marrying her and that she did not love me. Was I naive? I guess so.
In a way, I feel I deserve to be without a woman in my life. My first wife I met in my years when God was not in my life. That did not happen until six years later. Of all the women in my life, I miss her the most. Mainly because she left me not the other way around like in my second marriage.
One thing I need to learn to do, and apparently have not is place this in God’s hand. I know due to free-will we must make some effort in relationships on our own, but still I feel I should be praying more before I act.
Only time will tell. One thing is for sure. I do not want to spend the next billion years without someone by my side. There will be so many adventures in that time. So many wonders to see and I want to be able to share them.